I’d like to try another experiment soon. I don’t think I could do this one again for the entire summer season, which apparently has an ungodly number of new shows. I would like to revisit it at a later date, however. I could also stand to have a better quantification methodology for coherency, come to think of it.

Anyway, I’ll keep you all posted.

Some people think this show is pretty sexy.

What The Title Suggests

Well, it’s Yondemasu Yo, Azazel-San. I assume someone is telling Azazel-san something. Who is Azazel-san? Who can say.

Episode Impressions

Another short show. Well that’s surprising.

So I guess this is some kind of spooky occult thing, huh.

And then it wasn’t. Okay, let’s see where they’re going with this.

Some chibified demons are hanging out with a girl being total assholes. Then a naked demon shows up.

Not very tall though.

Apparently they run some kind of detective agency, which mostly seems to involve badmouthing their clients and watching saucy puppet shows. And getting stabbed with word bubbles. I’m confused.

And the naked guy can control people's minds or something. Why do they need Azazel and gang?

Anyway in the hopes that this will let them do something perverted, Azazel and duck-guy are all in favor of it. I’m not sure how they’re supposed to be helping though.

But things do get pretty sexy.

The boss shows up and this is awkward, but it seems they’ve been hired to both help the stalker guy and to protect the stalkee from the stalker. Now what? Well, everyone but the boss disagrees with his desire to turn the stalker over to the authorities. Things get violent.

"Anyone else want to get violent?"

The boss plans to break the spell by recovering naked guy’s grimoire and using it against him, which would be a complicated matter if they hadn’t left it in his office when they fled. Nice.

To counter the demon, he must summon another: A retarded fish in a bathtub. Hey, you’re the demon expert.

Show Impressions

Well, it was almost funny. For every bit of overreaction or trying to hard, it actually managed to be fairly clever. I wonder why?

Oh, right. Shows about idiots being idiots are pretty hard to screw up.

And hey, short but sweet. Didn’t seem to dick around too much. Well, I mean the whole thing was dicking around, but they didn’t dick around about dicking around.

Did I Miss Something?

I don’t actually know who anybody is or what they’re doing. Something about demons?

The First Two Episodes Were…

Hopefully Azazel and duck guy showed up at some point, and did something other than masturbate, insult people, and break things. Though I wouldn’t count on it.

Keep Watching?

Not sure. I guess I might check it out. It’s not like it’s that long.

Rewind or No?

The episodes do seem to have continuity; this episode’s plot didn’t wrap itself up in an encapsulated bit, so I presume things progress somehow.

Final Single Episode Coherency Rating

3 (William Faulkner)

Kinda gave off an ATHF vibe. Except ATHF doesn’t really make much sense either. Welp.

Not a lot, save that this is popular, filled with scuzzy-dressing characters, and well that’s really about all.

What The Title Suggests

I’m not sure what a sket is, but it could be a show about… dancing? Or maybe fighting. It probably doesn’t involve ice skating.

Episode Impressions

A bunch of chicks are trying to beat the crap out of each other. I’m not entirely sure why. There’s also some dudes there but they aren’t helping even though the one girl is outnumbered 3 to 1. Naturally she wins anyway because she’s attractive and thus almost certainly a main character. Then one of the guys takes all the credit.

"I contributed to this fight in no way whatsoever! So... yeah... I'm not sure what my point is."

Apparently SKET is an acronym for Support Kindness Encouragement Troubleshoot. So like what, does that mean they support kindness and encourage troubleshooting? Are they troubleshooters of supportive kind encouraging people? This really doesn’t parse.

Also the OP can’t decide between SKET or SKAT which is… troubling.

Anyway the group congratulates themselves for resolving a problem “without incident.” I don’t mean to be picky, but beating people up is an “incident.” That’s pretty much the definition of an incident. Then the show namedrops Bleach. I think you might be in trouble if your own characters want to be in another show.

Also there’s a guy with a computer, only the computer talks and I guess he doesn’t. I don’t know if that means he’s using the computer to talk for no clear reason, or the computer is in fact talking and is a sentient AI. Maybe the guy is just some kind of bio-organic conveyance device for the laptop. This is getting scary.

By the way, the main character has a stupid hat and can't do anything right.

The latest plan… or something… is for the girl to play on the school softball team to ensure victory. I’m noticing they seem to be leaning on the only person with any apparent talent a lot. Also this seems somewhat unethical. I guess she could just join the team, but she’s clearly too hip and punk for that. But not too hip and punk to help them. So I don’t know. Are these people supposed to be delinquents with hearts of gold? Because they kind of suck at both of those.

They're not even playing the game right.

Anyway after forcing whozit to actually use regulation equipment, she sucks, because it turns out being good at kicking people’s asses doesn’t make you a .300 hitter. Computer guy (or possibly just computer) calls a time-out and tries to give her advice, but she’s too stupid for that.

Seriously? Those are confusing terms?

Then they call a time-out. In the middle of another time-out (you thought I wouldn’t catch that, Sket Dance, but I did). Also I thought this is just practice as far as I can tell so who cares about time? It turns out not to matter because for no clear reason the girl suddenly becomes good at baseball. After the game is won by sort of cheating, the gang learns that a mysterious troublemaker is, uh, making trouble. Figuring this is within her skill range, The Club’s One Girl decides to throw down. Then it turns out she is the troublemaker, except not, because she isn’t the one making trouble, so… nevermind. Anyway she runs into the girls she beat up at the beginning of the episode again.

But it turns out she forgot her hockey stick, which I guess is a problem because she can’t just fight with her hands. The girls replaced it with a toy wand, then left the hockey stick at the school where her friends could find it and possibly return it to her instead of throwing it in the trash or something. This plan was not very well thought-out, and this is mitigated only by the fact that these characters are clearly not supposed to be all that intelligent in the first place. So she winds up getting kidnapped because I don’t know, she didn’t even really try.

"Obviously. As the most attractive member of this gang, I must be the boss."

The leader is kind of a sociopath, but that makes her marginally interesting at least. Unfortunately it’s not really clear why they’re kidnapping her. Maybe I missed this. Our heroine manages to taunt her into beating up her own gang. A little more of a push and she might kick her own ass.

Then they actually answer her phone.

Fortunately, the stupidity of this plan is dwarfed only by the stupidity of the protagonist.

Anyway we finally learn the villan’s motive.

Well, that's something at least.

There doesn’t seem to be a lot of urgency here. In fact they never actually show the main girl getting her ass kicked. She’s just progressively more beat up every time they cut back to her. But at long last the guys show up to rescue her, poorly. But how did they know what to do?

"Ohhhhhh THINKING, I knew there was something we were all really bad at."

Also they used the Internet. Thanks, Internet!

The villain is shocked to learn that The Only Girl is in fact the legendary punk troublemaker. Wait, wait, so she didn’t already know that? I assumed that was why she wanted to kidnap her and beat her up in the first place. Does she just like pounding on random girls? What a bitch.

Unfortunately she isn’t brutalized because I guess hockey stick girl has gone soft. I mean I can understand holding back against people who aren’t really causing trouble, but they tied you up to a tree and hit you in the face with an aluminum bat. I think a little vengeance is warranted.

"I mean you saw how useless I was, and the other guy's only power is being able to Google shit. If it wasn't for your lummox strength we'd all be getting swirlies in a train station bathroom right now."

And now the punk girls are her reverent slaves. I guess they wouldn’t have been able to do that for her if she’d broken their knees, so maybe there’s something to this whole mercy racket. Although I’m not sure I’d trust them to get me a sandwich, let alone any important tasks.

Show Impressions

So the name of the show is a pun that only kind of makes sense when pronounced in Japanese except it’s actually somewhat laboriously done there. In fact, that was kind of the problem with the show in the end. It’s trying way too hard to be funny even by Japanese cartoon standards. And that isn’t exactly a high bar. What’s confusing is they’re actually aware of this.

The only funny thing about this joke is that it pretty much cuts to the quick of why Japanese comedy isn't comedy by not being Japanese comedy and, therefore, somewhat funny.

So… are they trying to be funny by being almost deliberately forced and unfunny? Is this supposed to be like Aqua Teen Hunger Force? No, it can’t be; the Sket Dance group actually accomplished something and left the house.

The plot is nothing special. In fact the exact plot of this episode is something I think I’ve seen in several manga before. Matter of fact, I think this was actually an episode of Ookami-san down to the exact plot points and weapon selection of the male lead.

I kind of hate all the characters. The girl is needlessly stupid (BUT LOL SHE’S STRONG), the computer guy kind of accomplishes the same function as Google, and the male lead is intolerably generic. Everyone else was either a bit character or a comic relief “villain.”

And yet in spite of all of that… somehow my overall impression of this show is not entirely negative? Maybe even vaguely positive. The show has some kind of aura to it, like it has a genuine soul wrapped in mediocrity. Whoever made this (probably the original manga author) clearly really loves it in spite of all the things it does poorly. It’s like a guy who owns a puppy with three legs and a fucked-up eye; yeah, it’s not going to win Best In Show, but when it hobbles over to its master and awkwardly licks his hand that it can’t see all that well with its vaguely misshapen tongue, you can see the mixture of love and mild shame in the master’s eyes. That ain’t a good-looking dog, but it’s his damn dog, and he’s proud of it, even when it pees three inches off the newspaper.

Did I Miss Something?

Can the computer guy talk, or what? Does he have some disease? Is this a Young Stephen Hawking debacle? I’d hate to make fun of a guy for something like that.

The First Two Episodes Were…

Setup, probably? I assume the club had to be established and also that at some point we figured out what the point of it was. It appears to basically be a school version of The A-Team, except B.A. Baracus is a blonde chick who likes gross candy instead of milk (I am not sure of her opinion of flying, but she does in fact pity fools). And also there’s no Howlin’ Mad Murdock. The show needs a Murdock.

Keep Watching?

Despite my marginally positive impressions, no. It wasn’t as unpleasant as I was expecting, but it wasn’t good either.

Rewind or No?

This actually kind of could have been a first episode. Anything I really needed to know about the main characters was readily apparent from the first few minutes (girl beats people up, main guy is annoying and useless, other guy is a computer).

Final Single Episode Coherency Rating

4 (George Orwell)

Pretty coherent other than not knowing what the club actually does or what’s up with the computer dude. Seriously, that’s creeping me out. That’s kind of worth a point by itself.

On Monday I’ll be heading into what may be my last week of the test’s preliminary run, as I seem to be running short on shows. Not so short though; Azazel should tide me over at least to midweek.

Nothing.

What The Title Suggests

Well, it’s gotta be a kid show right? It’s short, it has a name like Suzy’s Zoo (kids like animals, right?). Sounds inoffensive and kiddy. I’d love to say “prepare to be disappointed” but I think there’s only an outside chance of it secretly being some horrible adults-only jive.

Episode Impressions

This show is two minutes long. How bad can it be?

MORTAL TERROR, or possibly just a misleading screenshot?

A duck is scared of a ghost. His stuffed bear don’t give a shit, so he turns to his giraffe, who is apparently more badass or at least cares slightly.

He advises it to watch for ghosts, after facing it the wrong way. Not the brightest little duck.

"We'll be totally fine as long as ghosts aren't OUTSIDE the house."

Fortunately the giraffe (which can talk, I guess; I suppose if a duck can talk a stuffed giraffe can) has nothing to worry about because the ghosts are… indisposed.

That sounds kind of sweet.

Then they start playing around, which wakes up the bear and the rabbit (there’s a rabbit but I guess he didn’t matter very much until now). They, of course, are afraid of the “ghosts,” because two people they know dressed in sheets or curtains are indistinguishable from ghosts.

Seriously, guys.

Then they all pretend to be ghosts all night. I assume the duck slept poorly, woke up tired, and was savagely beaten by his mother the next day.

Show Impressions

You may have actually heard of Suzy’s Zoo; it’s a greeting card company. I think I knew this at some point but I forgot about it (I worked at a Hallmark Store once; I was fired for incompetence. THIS STORY IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE). Why a line of greeting cards about adorable animals has been made into a Japanese-language cartoon two minutes in length is something I can’t entirely explain. I’m sure there’s something to this but I don’t care to know.

Production-wise, the whole thing is CG with that cel-shading effect, and it looks a lot better in stills than it does in motion because the framerate of the show (short? clip?) was really low. As for the acting… it existed?

Did I Miss Something?

Do the stuffed animals require magic to talk or something? The giraffe seemed to light up before it came to life and started talking about moon ghosts, but the bear is clearly a stuffed toy and he was bitching the second his rest was disturbed by a wussy duck.

The First Two Episodes Were…

Hopefully less of the duck waking up all his roommates. Seriously dude, some of us are trying to get some sleep here.

Keep Watching?

I could accidentally watch the whole thing in the time it takes me to upload a screenshot for this post, but probably not, no.

Rewind or No?

I somehow doubt there will be a follow-up to the ghost party on the moon, but if Suzy’s Zoo later does bring up that plot thread feel free to correct me.

Final Single Episode Coherency Rating

4 (George Orwell)

A duck is scared of ghosts. Then a duck is a ghost. The story is pretty coherent for two minutes, although it could have been slightly more straightforward.

I have apparently not reviewed Sket Dance. I guess I’m supposed to do that?

Nothing. One guy is telling me to watch this. No one else has even heard of it.

What The Title Suggests

Hell if I know. Sounds like another stupid phrase title.

Episode Impressions

A mysterious TV in a brownish-red-black void turns on and there’s breasts on it. That’s certainly quite a start.

And quite a pair, too.

And then a bunch of girls horse around in a swimming pool. Okay. I assume only some of them are important given that the rest are all clones wearing swim caps. Everyone gets naked, and a radio dances. I’m not clear if this is all supposed to be on that strange TV in the disembodied universe.

The radio also apparently got laid.

After a fairly confusing OP, it’s back to the mystery TV for some reason. Now we’re at a cafe where everyone jiggles at the slightest motion. Some guy has just started working there. Within a short time they’re in a “meeting” in the back where she starts kind of coming on to him. I’m not sure what any of this has to do with anything. Apparently neither do they, as she pranks him and leaves.

"What, no awkward storage room groping? This job sucks."

Later he (or a guy who looks a lot like him?) meets a shy girl outside her house. She ran out of soy sauce. Is running out of soy sauce such a common problem that people regularly leave their homes at night to go get some from the store? Honestly, I’ve seen this explanation used several times before. He tries to accompany her but she ain’t having none of that. Probably for the best, the guy might be a creep. This seems confirmed later when it’s revealed he’s a writer who seems to have some questionable interests, but before we can learn anything else the magic television switches to another scene and we never see the guy again in the episode.

Apparently one partially done by Rankin & Bass and a whole lot of White-Out.

A girl is looking for her bike. Or a bike. I don’t know if it’s hers.

And the guy helping her look for it isn't very helpful.

This cavalier attitude and his rugged appearance seem to be turning this girl on. But he warns her he’s too “hard boiled” (his exact words) to love her. What a badass. But she’s fallen hard for him, or actually for his work uniform. That’s kind of creepy, lady. Then some dudes show up in a van and start rapping. They invite the guy to a party, but I don’t see why you’d leave the girl out of this. She’s probably a tab of E away from taking off all her clothes and grinding on that guy’s work helmet.

Also some kind of gang war.

I'm totally sure these guys can throw down against dudes with knives.

Anyway the two of them aren’t interested in this plot thread, so they leave those guys behind. Talk about a missed opportunity. Awkward teasing ensues, then a pantyshot. No one seems impressed. Sick of wandering around with the girl, the workman guy decides to stumble on that gang war he heard about earlier, so he does. I’d wonder how he found them, but it’s under a bridge, and pretty much everything goes down under bridges.

I figured those guys from before were pretty outmatched, but their arsenal of comic props and house music serves them well and they’re able to outwit the other gang at every turn. Workman gives approximately no shits.

"Honestly so far this whole gang war has been a complete letdown, Flamboyant Guy Who Just Showed Up."

Somehow this degenerates into a gunfight, although several people involved don’t seem all that concerned about this. The gang leaders eventually decide to face off, which workman dude seems powerless to stop even though he’s come into possession of the one gun in this fight. Fortunately, he manages to persuade them with common sense. I’d think a gun would work better than common sense, but it’s something I guess.

And, uh… that’s the end of it.

Show Impressions

I want to develop some opinion of this show, but quite honestly I’m not sure it even is a show as such. There were three or four completely distinct plot threads with absolutely incompatible tones and it could be both jarring and nonsensical to transition between them. Much as I try making sense of it, I really can’t.

I suppose one could argue a disjointed narrative is not inherently problematic, but it helps if the narrative segments at least appear to coincide somehow. How exactly we got from a topless swim meet to a street fight is unclear. It’s also unclear which of these things I’m supposed to take seriously, if any. And if I am meant to take one seriously, what the hell is the point of the other bits?

Production-wise it was alright. Not great, not terrible. I couldn’t tell a lot of the characters apart, though. It was also generally difficult to tell who was supposed to be important, as the OP and ED have a dozen girls in them but none of them seemed all that important to the story. There also really didn’t seem to be a clear protagonist, although the workman got the most screen time.

Did I Miss Something?

Is this a fanservice show? A sketch-based gag comedy? A gripping gang war melodrama? I mean I guess you can argue it’s all three, but they seem pretty much unconnected with each other other than characters shared between the various sections. The episode shifted so wildly in tone that it’s hard to figure out what the hell it is and what it’s trying to do. I’m still baffled.

Also, what’s up with the TV? Is this some kind of magic microwave-related doodad, a framing device, a stylistic flourish, what?

Are the girls with really similar hairstyles related? I can’t really distinguish one from another. I don’t think they’re sisters or anything, or at least the show didn’t say they were. Huhn.

The First Two Episodes Were…

I’d hope more coherent than this, but I’d guess much less so at best. With any luck they’d explain who everyone is, but there are so many characters that I think it’d be pretty hard to keep up in any meaningful fashion.

Keep Watching?

I don’t really want to, but on the other hand I sort of feel like I should just to get some sense for what the show is actually trying to do. It’s very confusing, and I can’t tell if it’s trying to do this to be artsy or what. Narratively, the thing was just a big mess.

Rewind or No?

On the one hand, it seems like a good idea. On the other, if the show is anything like this on a regular basis I can’t see one episode meaning any more than any other.

Final Single Episode Coherency Rating

1 (James Joyce)

As crazy as Deadman Wonderland and C are, at least they had a central narrative and a coherent style. They didn’t really make sense, but at least if you asked me what they were about I could summarize (“Superjail” and “People fight with Pokemon over Monopoly money” respectively). This show really has nothing going for it on a coherency level. It doesn’t make sense, doesn’t seem to be trying to make sense, and isn’t structured in a fashion which would even permit it to make much sense.

So this is definitely, by far, the least coherent show of the season that I’ve seen. It’s unlikely to be topped, unless David Lynch has been working on an anime I haven’t heard about.

Tune in later for Suzy’s Zoo, a title I understand and dread. It’s apparently very short going by filesize, so it may be a bit of a scant post. Or maybe it won’t. With a name like that, I’m expecting the worst.

Supposedly this is some kinda show for loser adults who need to learn to get laid. How that distinguishes it from every other anime, I’m not sure.

And yes I was supposed to do Jewel Pet Sunshine, but it turns out nobody’s actually translating that. Whoops.

What The Title Suggests

Something about being 30, I guess? That seems to be the point of this show, getting laid at 30 or something.

Episode Impressions

First impression: This is only 12 minutes long. Thank God. I don’t even know what it is yet, but I’m grateful already.

So we open with some loser getting shot down. Is this the third episode, for real? Man, how much of a loser was he before?

I suppose the question on everyone’s mind is “Why?” (and also “Who cares?”). Well, they got an answer for that.

So basically... you were rejected because you suck. Wow, nice lesson.

Anyway the advice of his fairy godparents is, um… that they don’t know how to help him nail the girl he’s after. Well that’s just great. That’s like whipping up a dress for Cinderella and when she’s all “And how shall I get to the ball?” being like “I got nothin’, kid. Maybe you should get a bus ticket.”

Also, apparently the only thing 30-year-olds need for good health is sex.

Confronted with the advice to keep at it, our hero proceeds to run away from the girl he’s supposed to continue pursuing. Well, perhaps if he’s lucky her inner cavewoman will observe his flight response and consider it a worthwhile trait to keep their children safely outpacing sabertooth cats. I suppose that’s the best he can hope for right now.

I suppose it’s time for Plan B.

Cyber-Stalking.

Also the woman he loves apparently freaks out at the slighest provocation from a man and becomes an unstoppable wrecking ball of… hey wait, haven’t I seen this sort of thing before like a week ago?

HA HA, SHE ISN'T COMFORTABLE WITH PEOPLE AND HURTS THEM.

Fortunately, he bumps into her in the men’s restroom and they exchange emails.

…Hang on, what?

Shortly thereafter the protagonist is attacked by an old man. I have no idea anymore.

Anyway all that’s left to do now is find a way to ask an easily-flustered wrecking ball of man-destruction out on a date. This is the best you can do, huh guy.

Not that these assholes are any help at all.

Oh and then he asks her out again and it works this time. The end.

Show Impressions

So the lesson here is… um… ignore the voices in your head trying to sabotage your love life and just keep pressuring a woman until she says yes?

Well, I guess that’s one way to get laid. Or arrested for rape. But hey, we only promised to get you sex. Maybe you shoulda been more specific.

Also this show is terrible and neither informative nor funny. It’s like a Ben Stiller movie without the satisfaction of that mutant freak-baby getting nut-shotted by film-variable sporting goods. Its sole saving grace is only being half as long as other equally unfunny comedies.

Counterpoint: A Channel had a musical number. Nichijou had a robot. Sofuteni had a shark. This show didn’t have any of those things.

Did I Miss Something?

So like is this guy insane or are the white-haired guys actual gods or something? They’re not very good at their job if the goal is to get him laid. Is an insane man-fearing gladiator of death really his best option for poontang? I’m pretty sure hookers don’t kill you. In fact it tends to work the other way.

The First Two Episodes Were…

It’s hard to imagine this guy being more pathetic, but he managed to score a date this episode so I have to presume he spent the previous two wallowing in his own misery and/or masturbating.

Keep Watching?

No. That’s half as much as I could write, since the show had the courtesy to be half as bad as it could have been (by being half of itself generally).

Rewind or No?

Why would you want to see this guy as a bigger loser? At least watching it this way he managed to get a date in the span of a single episode.

Final Single Episode Coherency Rating

2 (Franz Kafka)

So, like… do you listen to the strange people who live in your room or don’t you? Is this representative of some deeper inner conflict? Have you tried just pulling it out in the subway and see where that leads you? Always an option!

Nada.

What The Title Suggests

I haven’t a clue. The words seem familiar, I’m pretty sure they’ve been in other titles before, but looking back I actually don’t remember what those titles meant translated either.

Episode Impressions

Some guys at an office are having an argument. It seems somebody printed a book that was too successful. I’m not sure why this is a problem exactly but someone’s really bent out of shape about it.

Right, exactly, what ARE you talking about?

After that some crude drawings explain the print run decision-making process. It’s remarkably educational, actually. I’m learning a lot about deadlines. I think the people behind this show learned a lot about deadlines too, as the mouths are really fucked-up and strangely drawn on everyone’s faces when they start talking.

This seems like an informative, manly show with lots of business info and men going to work.

Look at how firmly the senior guides the recent hire. Cooperation! Team-building!

Although new guy tries to get to know the asshole salesman who was mad that their print industry isn’t in full-on collapse like most of the ones I’m familiar with, he’s pretty much exactly as much of a dick. Oh well.

New guy’s dad apparently got him the job, but everyone tells him not to worry about it because everyone has to use what they’ve got. I assume they’re this supportive until he leaves the room and then start backbiting about what a little nepotism-beneficiary bitch he is. I know I would.

Anyway this is the office for a shoujo manga publisher, which is curious because there sure are a lot of dudes working here.

I'm sure there must be a woman working here somewhere though, I mean who put up all the cutesy stuff?

New guy is nervous around his boss. I can understand that, jitters and all. He doesn’t want to be alone with him too often. That’s always the worst, his full attention is right on you at all times, undressing you with his eyes and all that.

They go way back, it seems, and used to be really good friends. Incredibly close, if the main character’s ruminations are correct. But now I guess it’s kind of awkward given the business relationship.

There, he learns that one of the artists is behind schedule. That’s right, don’t think about relationships at a time like this, there’s work to be done! The artist, allegedly a woman (I’ll believe it when I see it), is late because of depression. Well, that’s hardly an excuse. Maybe somebody can cheer her up.

Probably not anybody who works here, but somebody. This reminds new guy of the time he had to read hundreds of storyboards for no reason and his boss made fun of him.

Oh SNAP.

When his boss comes back, intrigue mounts as it would appear that the asshole sales guy and the editor he yelled at are friends. Well, isn’t that just strange. And not very interesting, actually.

New guy is so worried about what his boss will think of his work… or something… that he can’t even think straight. I’ve had days like that. Also his boss lives next door to him. That’s a lot of pressure.

I don't think I've had days like this, however.

There’s more work to be done even at home, and then his boss comes over. Yeesh, poor guy. He’s so embarassed his cheeks are practically flush. They work on corrections all night. And that’s not euphemism, that’s actually what they do.

Then they make out.

Aaaaaaand boom goes the dynamite.

I suppose I should stress at this point that I totally knew this was coming and was just playing coy for comedic effect. Perhaps I need to be punished for that. By a big strong man who treats me like crap. Mmmm, yeah.

Show Impressions

Nothing really happened and everything that did happen was incredibly laborious. They didn’t even start making out until the last minute or so. What’s up with that?

What unfortunately never happened at any point in this show.

The art was bad and lazy, the characters are shoujo cardboard cutouts, and there really wasn’t any chemistry. I realize shoujo fans seem to have kind of a thing for rape-like relationship management but the tension just wasn’t really there and trying to force it didn’t really make it seem more passionate at all.

At least it was educational.

Did I Miss Something?

What was with all the guys hugging?

Nah, just kidding. I fear I didn’t miss a thing. That didn’t really make it hot, though. I bet the editor and sales guy would’ve done something pretty smoking if that sissy little newbie hadn’t cockblocked them.

The First Two Episodes Were…

Hopefully slightly less rapey. But given what this is I’m not going to hedge bets on that.

Keep Watching?

I could barely sit through this. I was actually cheering about the head editor getting his dude-rape on just so the main character would shut up and something would happen. Then new guy ran off like a total wuss and missed out on a potential threesome. Weak.

Rewind or No?

I kinda got where it was coming from without doing it, but you might have to.

Final Single Episode Coherency Rating

4 (George Orwell)

Gay guys in the high-risk (and presumably high-reward) world of shoujo manga publishing. The only part I didn’t really get is how pretty much an entire office was full of samey-looking bishounen. And how nobody cared about a five day missed deadline. I mean come on, one guy yelled about them making too much money, they’re not going to let that slide.

Jewel Pet Sunshine is technically sort of a sequel (or a remake or something?) but I’m assured it’s a reboot and thus technically a new series. Then again that same logic was used to pitch X-Men to me, which I guess I might still do at some point. Anyway the former is next.

I’ve been told there are cute girls in this. Wow, that really narrows it down!

What The Title Suggests

Hell if I know. I struggle with short phrases in my own language. I’ll try to be open-minded about… whatever it is.

Episode Impressions

Things start out normal enough. Then the camera cuts to a wider shot.

That did not last long.

So I guess this guy lives with a mattress monster.

The OP isn’t helping with this impression either. Also this is the second or third time this season someone’s worn a giant animal costume for no apparent reason. Main guy appears befuddled at the events of the OP, which suggests he may remain so as events unfold within the show itself. Here we go again.

Immediately thereafter, the protagonist admits to a perverse interest in fish.

Mattress monster washed up from the sea and has amnesia or something, I guess is what the show is expositing to me now. Even though I’m not sure how she can see, she seems pretty good at maneuvering on her own. That’s something I guess. So the protagonist sends mattress monster home. Then he has a philosophical discussion about God and aliens with a cosplayer. He doesn’t seem to know what to believe. If my primary contacts were a girl who lives in a mattress and a cosplaying night owl I guess I wouldn’t either.

Next he’s on, I guess a date or something with a girl from class, who is totally into him. She also tries to kill him with carrot juice.

You gigantic pussy.

The next few minutes are incredibly awkward as the classmate does just about everything short of installing landing strip lights on her panties to hit on the protagonist while he, well, what do you think his response is? We’ve all watched enough shows to guess.

Hint: It doesn’t involve satisfying her in any capacity.

She launches into a discussion of qualia and the apprehension of the senses which no one watching this show will understand and which, perhaps most critically, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t understand either.

"How does that work, anyway? Is there a little guy inside there that remembers everything you say? How does he contact other phones? Maybe he calls them... no, no wait, recursive problem. Fuck!"

This whole scene involves some really strange lighting choices.

Meeting back up with mattress monster, the protagonist teases her for walking because aliens would be able to fly. I’m pretty sure he’s confusing aliens with Superman. Except Superman was an alien, so… okay, you win this round.

The protagonist proceeds to have a really douchebaggy internal monologue where he basically looks down on mattress monster and overflows with pity at how sad her existence is.

Glass houses, dude.

Some other girl shows up at his house, or lives at his house, or something. She’s also kind of weird, but not in a fun way like that classmate girl. Weird in the “I’m kind of a slut because somebody didn’t teach me about boundaries” way.

"Or at least that's what my uncle always told me to tell people."

Also she’s some kind of insane jealous rapist. And apparently his aunt? He really needs to get a lock on his door. Also this whole storyline is getting really, really uncomfortable. Is this a comedy?

Later, protagonist summarizes the entire show (while he’s supposed to be in class) trying to figure this shit out. That’s to his credit, I guess. Somebody needs to sit down and muddle through all of this. Unfortunately he seems to come no closer than before. But he does have a plan. An incredibly vague and stupid plan. Also he spends a few more minutes talking about how pathetic mattress monster is. Dick.

"Yes, by setting her on fire, I'm sure to cure her of her delusions and possibly life."

And then they ride a bike down a hill to their deaths.

Are those scary? Jesus Christ, what kind of gigantic wuss are you?

They survive the fall, but lose the bike. Man, that thing was old school, you said so yourself. Now you’ll never be able to Ebay it.

Anyway the shock of near death and also not being an alien causes mattress monster to have a nervous breakdown. I’m sure this is totally healthy for her psychologically and not a dangerous, untrained, and retarded idea that will just screw her up even more. Nice going, hero.

So, preying upon her complete traumatic vulnerability, he unilaterally decides they’ll become friends. Really awkward friends.

Are you... are you sure that's what it means to be a friend?

Boy, I hope these guys can swim. Actually, they might be better off if not.

Show Impressions

This show left me feeling extremely uncomfortable. I definitely didn’t enjoy it. I just was… bothered by it.

“Oh, but it’s a show about weird people! If you’re uncomfortable that means they did a good job with the characters!”

Well… sort of. I mean everyone is clearly pretty eccentric. The classmate girl is even kind of charming. She gives off a friendly goofball vibe without being overly bizarre or gimmicky. I suppose that stands to change though.

Everyone else though… it’s not that they’re seriously messed up psychologically. They are, but of course that’s not really a problem in and of itself.

My main problem is that the main character is kind of a gigantic douche about it all.

There’s this weird undercurrent in all of his internal monologue, and I don’t know if it’s intentional or not, but it makes him come across as a sort of smug, judgmental asshole who likes to humor damaged people just so he can suddenly turn it around and abuse them. And since he has kind of a weird fixation of his own, he’s also a giant hypocrite.

Something about this is condescending and sinister to me.

Like okay I get it, mattress monster is strange. She’s probably really damaged. She obviously needs to accept some things about herself and get over stuff. Normally, however, trauma is addressed by professionals who are careful about this sort of thing. Not by introducing even more trauma. The main character came across to me as a slimy prick passing judgment on her and then abusing her to get her to “snap out of it.” And then he had the balls to basically declare himself her knight in shining armor.

I’m not even going to joke about this. That’s just fucked up.

You said it, only good character.

As an aside however, the art is really good. The close-ups actually have a degree of quality most shows don’t bother with.

Did I Miss Something?

Well, the protagonist guy summarized things in his lab class I guess but I’m not actually clear who most of these people are or why none of them are getting the help they actually need.

The First Two Episodes Were…

I assume he first meets, then learns the quirks of, the various emotionally scarred people he runs into. Perhaps someone drops some acid because that’s about the only way I think I’d be able to get through this.

Keep Watching?

This show makes me sick to my stomach, so I’m going to have to pass. I’m sure it’s both heartwarming and criminally irresponsible in equal measures as the story progresses.

Rewind or No?

One would want to do that, although I do have to say that I kind of felt like I hadn’t missed anything. A major event did happen this episode, so starting one later would be a bit strange. Then again, it would mean I didn’t see what happened in this episode and that might be better in the end.

Final Single Episode Coherency Rating

3 (William Faulkner)

About average in terms of coherency. I won’t let my discomfort for the premise or the execution color that. If anything, I might be trying to make too much sense of it.

Anyway I’ll get to work on deciding what’s next. No determination yet.

It might be Ghostbusters.

What The Title Suggests

Something’s exorcist? I’m going with Ghostbusters.

Episode Impressions

A man who lives in a very purple world thinks tenderly to the time he and his brother were raised by priests. Tenderly might be the wrong word to use there.

"His psychotherapist says that's normal at this stage though."

Something’s off about this guy, but I can’t put my finger on it. Besides the strange ears and the upturned nose. Oh wait, I did just put my finger on it.

OP suggests a supernatural action-comedy. I guess I could have seen that one coming. It just might be Ghostbusters after all. To the protagonist’s credit, that thing he’s carting around the entire OP that’s obviously a sword is only actually unsheathed at the very end of the OP. Too many hot-dogging guys love swinging those things around for 3/4 of the musical intro. I like this guy. He’s got economy.

"I appear to be on fire. Little help?"

The protagonist looks for, then finds a clown after the latter attempts to run him over. Not sure what this has to do with exorcism but I’m sure we’ll get there. Clown vampire invites him on a grand adventure… to school.

Oh boy. A school. I assume there will be a bunch of people with supernatural powers and whatnot. Am I close? Am I? Also his brother is going too, although his ears are normal and he has acne or something. He is sooooo gonna get his lunch money stolen by a minotaur.

"I can't believe you fell for that shit, I just pick scary names from literature out of a hat. The hat I'm wearing, in fact. It's a nice hat, and also versatile."

They soon arrive at the True Cross Academy, which is basically three or four Hogwards stacked on top of each other with a smattering of Escher paintings sprinkled to taste. Hat vampire demands our hero undress in front of him in their limo. Is this a show about busting ghosts or the aftermath of a Jay-Z concert backstage affair?

Pointagonist is shocked that his brother is the top of their incoming class, even though he like totally has glasses so that should be obvious. Thankfully some incorporeal students (in that we don’t see them, they’re not actually incorporeal as far as I know) fill us in on this detail. Isn’t he the brother? Shouldn’t he know this stuff? That’s kind of sad if they’re not connecting like that at their age.

This sounds like a good transition but the school is 400 stories high and non-euclidian so I can imagine this trip actually taking up the rest of the run of the show.

Then there are some random flashbacks. It’s probably to the previous two episodes but lacking any context all I know is apparently Farmer Beelzebub exploded or something. I can only wonder what the hell that means for this episode.

The campus is toured, which seems entirely to fill space because I sincerely doubt I will need to remember what the dining hall layout looks like at any point during this show.

Anyway our hero is getting a lot of attention and doesn’t quite know why.

Carrying a sword around the ENTIRE TIME might have something to do with it, but what do I know?

A rather forthright dog soon leads him through eight or nine bizarre dimensions (they may also be classrooms, God alone knows) only to reveal that it wasn’t a dog, but vampire school principal tophat guy in disguise. As a dog. I’m not sure how a dog in a school draws less attention than a vampire, but okay.

Using a magic key that can take him anywhere he wants to go on campus or something, the protagonist is off to a special super top secret area which is designed to train exorcists, which I guess he is. Presumably. I’d hope that’s what the sword is for. Anyway I’m not sure why they’d need to hide a place like this; what are the odds of anyone finding anything in a giant tower of random buildings? Oh well.

Also the hero is the son of Satan. That just came up.

"I dunno chief, it's gonna be kinda hard not to bring up that the Lord of Darkness is my dad every time that subject arises in casual conversation."

Hat guy literally tells him that while it should be possible to fool people about having devil ears, pointed teeth, and a fucking tail, setting people on fire would give it away because… huh? This is a thing that actually happens but I can’t understand the logic behind it in any way whatsoever. Also I never even noticed that he had a tail. Does he have a tail? I didn’t see one the whole episode but I might just be dumb and blind.

And so it’s off to the training room to meet our team of teen exorcists! Most of whom look like complete losers. One of them talks to puppets for Christ’s sake.

I sure hope this isn't their "A" team.

Dog principal exposits on what exorcists are in the middle of the classroom while everyone is watching a dog talk to a guy. No one reacts. Was it even necessary to transform into a dog? Also he blabs out loud that the protagonist is a demon three minutes after warning the hero to keep mum about that. I guess it was only for him not to mention.

Anyway to sum it up: Exorcists are inappropriately touched on their taint by a demon and this enables them to see and fight them. I may have that slightly wrong.

And in a shocking twist, Satan-spawn’s brother is the teacher! Yeah okay fine.

"You remember that time you kicked my sand castle, bro?" "No?" "When I'm through with you, you will regret it."

Apparently while the son of Satan was off doing whatever it is sons of Satan do, his brother was actually training as an exorcist. I guess our hero just never really took an interest in what his brother did or somesuch. Now I feel even worse about the state of their familial relationship. They don’t connect and one of them is adopted.

Glasses brother offers to go through the Taint Ritual with some of the folks who haven’t been molested yet, and for whatever reason everyone agrees. The protagonist is exempt because Satan and all that. The classroom is infested with goblins, which is apparently the supernatural equivalent of ants, so I guess the “ritual” involves letting some ants bite you a little. This seems pretty underwhelming, honestly. Of course his brother got it in a more exciting way.

"So does that mean we, like, did it?" "Only spiritually." "So then we're only spiritually incestuous. Fantastic."

Some demons wind up summoned as a result of an awkward bro-scuffle, but glasses easily disposes of them by shooting them. The other students who were out in the hallway don’t seem concerned by this. Also since these demons were already said to be largely harmless I’m confused as to what possible tension this scene has. It’s basically an excuse to show off.

"Shit, I ain't even lookin'."

Also his brother hates him. So I guess all that palling around in the limo was fake. What a cockmongler. Who’s the real son of Satan here? Oh, right, still the main guy.

All the while they’re arguing the brother is doing gun-kata and shooting wave after wave of enemies, so I’m assuming the boss will be coming soon. Eventually this leads to a gun-on-demonic-hellfire standoff.

I gotta say, my money's on hellfire.

And then the boss shows up. Because it’s gotta have a boss. So our hero killsteals the boss after his brother put in all the effort grinding. Dick.

"Oh riiiiiiiiiiiight, the boss. I thought there was something that comes after the endless minions and hurtful family arguments."

Devil-spawn explains that since their adoptive exorcist father died to protect him from his real dad (presumably in the most metal episode of Maury ever taped), he wanted to become an exorcist himself. Not for revenge, but to get stronger… which… why would you get stronger and become a guy who hunts demons if not to avenge the death of your father at the hands of a demon? That’s what revenge is. You saying that isn’t what you’re doing doesn’t mean you aren’t doing it.

Show Impressions

The show seems to have a really poor grasp on which incredible supernatural thing is actually incredible and which one is all “Psh, whatever.”

Son, you're the spawn of the Devil himself. And you already know that dude is Pimp Dracula. Why is this shocking to you?

Also the layout of their school is nonsensical and insane and I do not envy anyone who has to live or work there. Let alone whoever built it. Ghost slave labor, perhaps, if such a thing is possible.

This is totally understated and coherent architecture, and also not stolen whole cloth from Persona 3.

The action is competently imagined if utterly inconsequential, but I’ll forgive it for an early episode. There’s a decent dynamic between the brother who is a berserking Satan-spawn swordsman who is constantly on fire and his brother who is basically a nerdy version of Christian Bale’s character in Equilibirum. Unfortunately having seen the entire episode there was basically no point in anyone being in it but those two and Demon Liberace. Yet the show is in a school setting, which clearly means there’s going to be a bunch more people on the team at some point. I guess my question is why? Is “two brothers, one Satan’s son, team up to fight demons” not complicated and badass enough for you, Japan? It just seems like that particular premise would work fine without all this other crap.

Did I Miss Something?

Where the hell did all those students they had wait outside go? Was nobody able to overhear repeated gunfire and a bro-fight in the classroom? Did it not dawn on anyone to just take a peek and see what was going on? I realize some of them can’t see demons but a few of them didn’t raise their hands about not having gotten the Peter Parker treatment from a demon yet. Plus everyone can hear a gun.

I swear, no initiative at all.

Also people in this show say things that they know make absolutely no sense.

"Except Satan isn't my father and I'm not a demon and can't catch fire. Also I'm intelligent and have glasses. There's probably other differences, but in all other respects we're the same."

The First Two Episodes Were…

I actually saw flashbacks. A demon farmer and some other guy exploded or something. I guess sword guy ran around shanking other demons for shits and giggles. Or maybe the entrance exam for that school requires kicking a farmer’s ass and the one he picked just happened to also be a demon. All I know is somebody got shanked.

Keep Watching?

If it were “gun-kata professional and his trash-talking Satan-spawn brother kick ass for the Lord” I might be on board, but it looks like they’re gonna pile way too much on top of that and crush the only good ideas with bullshit.

Rewind or No?

Weirdly enough, this felt pretty much like a first episode to me. I don’t really know what that says about the first two, but other than some missing details it’s really not impossible to pick up on and follow where the show is going. It’s just nothing that happens in it seems especially logical or even rational.

Final Single Episode Coherency Rating

3 (William Faulkner)

I get the premise, but pretty much everything else doesn’t seem to make sense. Characters and settings basically ceased to exist when not convenient to the narrative, and there was literally no point in showing off the normal school when everything important is presumably going to happen in the top secret magic classrooms. Plus, I didn’t see half the people in the OP in this episode. How long is this show if some of those main cast members aren’t even mentioned yet?

And it wasn’t Ghostbusters. But throw in a gorilla and we might be close to The Ghost Busters.

I’ll watch Denpa Onna next. Not entirely sure what that one’s about.

I’m told two things. One, that the show is deeply uncomfortable for several episodes. Two, that it’s supposedly not that bad thereafter. I’m not sure which side of the fence the third episode is supposed to fall, but my guess it probably that it isn’t going to matter as much as people say.

What The Title Suggests

Okay, I actually kind of know this one; it’s something like Astarotte’s Toy. And since, to my knowledge, this always has psychosexual connotations when used as the title of something in anime… welp.

Episode Impressions

Some dude is introducing his daughter to some demon girls. This is intensely confusing as he looks younger than most everyone else.

When did you father her, the instant you hit puberty?

This is apparently a problem for their demon harem because I guess kids are bad, even though that was sort of the entire point of a harem.

Then it turns out his daughter’s 10 and he’s somehow 23. So I guess he, uh, actually did bang at 13. Well this is awkward. This apparently creeps out the twintailed loli demoness too (at least SOMEONE has a sense of shame here) so she kicks those creeps out of her house.

But then they’re friends in the OP so I guess any dramatic tension that may have come from that is completely hosed. Way to spoil your own show, guys.

Anyway twintail demon princess is pissed because the dude was supposed to belong to her but he’s clearly used goods because he has a kid so what kind of crock of shit is that? The irony is delicious.

"Not even my dozens of pillows, toys, and servants can mend my shattered heart." "You know if he's been banging since 13, mistress, he's probably pretty awesome in the sack."

Wow, she dresses like a giant tramp, though she isn’t giant in any capacity, if you follow me. Her maid sure is though.

GodDAMN.

Daddy dearest of course doesn’t want to leave the bitchy demoness princess because he sees her sensitive side or something and also because he’s probably attracted to 13-year-olds (I mean, given his sexual history…). Also, his daughter isn’t wearing panties. I think that was meant to be a joke.

Later, it turns out Astarotte has to go to school. I hope demons age normally in this show because having to go to school for several centuries would completely blow. Daughter wants to also go to school, and… probably should be, shouldn’t she? I mean she’s 10 and just moved to a demon world with her single dad. What’s the worst that could happen?

Oh, I guess the worst that could happen is that the demon secretary is a lesbian pedophile. COMEDY! Anyway everybody’s off to school. Except the adults, because fuck that. Thereafter we’re introduced to a bunch more characters I could pretty much take or leave. Daughter’s appearance has left the princess out of sorts.

Honestly I pretty much agree with her at this point, Asuha is annoying as SHIT.

Apparently Asuha is cramping her style because she has to act dignified, although her nightclothes were definitely anything but a few scenes ago.

Nobody seems bothered that she’s human either. I dunno. I guess it’s a progressive demon world. They do seem bothered to learn that her father is Astarotte’s sex slave. Hey, I would be too.

Since the princess is standoffish and tsundere, she has no friends. What a surprise. Asuha’s brilliant solution? Gang up on her and force her to talk to them. This can’t possibly have a downside.

Also: Physical assault, because yanking their tail always endears you to someone.

Astarotte and Asuha bond over their presumably dead-by-anime mothers. Don’t be a mother in anime.

In the meantime, everyone is shocked that dad’s poking around the school, having never met a human before. The only difference appears to be pointy ears vs. not-pointy ears, and some of the demon students are drawn with the latter, so they’re in for disappointment. Or the animators are incompetent. Either way.

Eh, that's a pretty good guess though.

Then Asuha is attacked by a talking llama. Either the show just gave up or I did. I’m not sure why this is such a serious problem, but everyone is suddenly pretty serious about it. Dad fixes the problem by feeding the llama an orange. I guess ruthlessly attacking wildlife is slightly less effective than bribing it with treats. And thus everyone learns the power of friendship and food. And lesbian makeouts. A universal message.

Astarotte then, in something I’ve never actually seen before in a tsundere, apologizes to the dude for being a bitch. While I’m sure that won’t last, it’s a nice touch.

"At least I think this is an apology. I don't read Demonic Runes."

Also, Asuha isn’t wearing her panties again. COMEDY!

Show Impressions

Is this show a comedy? I mean it’s vaguely uplifting and marginally cute, but there wasn’t a humorous moment anywhere to be found.

Asuha is the biggest pain in the ass. If I were one of these demons I’d flay her alive and dip her in a vat of boiling oil. I mean are these people demons or just pointy-eared pussies? You don’t have to take that shit from mortals.

To be totally honest though, it wasn’t really awful or anything. The drama was realistic (well, so to speak) and not entirely overblown, there were no comic misunderstandings other than thinking Asuha’s dad was a llama, and the saucy dominatrix apologized to her man-whore. Warms your heart.

Did I Miss Something?

Why is everyone a gigantic slut?

Pictured: Slut.

Also, what’s the point of being employed in a demon world? Can you send the money home? Does Earth honor Satanbucks? Is he just getting paid to live and work in demon world? What about retirement? What if he wants to go home? Is Astarotte still going to be into her boy toy when he’s 80 and decrepit?

The First Two Episodes Were…

Well, hopefully they establish why this dude’s in demon world, how he got there, and why he banged out a crotch dumpling at the tender age of 12. I can’t tell if this guy is sick or just the biggest go-getter in the history of pimpin’. Which is not easy, especially when you can still remember a time before pubes.

Keep Watching?

I wouldn’t, but it doesn’t really seem that terrible. The subject matter is… iffy, but they’re not really playing up a fanservice angle. It’s definitely there, it’s just kind of incidental. Mind you, that doesn’t exactly excuse it, but I can forgive it the sins of its premise since it competently executed an episodic story arc. I can’t say that for, well, most shows.

Rewind or No?

There’s some definite continuity, so it’s probably important. Maybe it’s funnier if you’ve been watching it up to this point. Maybe it isn’t.

Final Single Episode Coherency Rating

3 (William Faulkner)

Well, there were a lot of things unexplained, but not unlike Tiger & Bunny I could muddle it out as it went along. Dude hits puberty, dude immediately knocks up chick, chick dies of anime, teen dad becomes butler-cum-manslut to a loli demon princess, teen dad’s daughter shows up to cockblock. We can all relate to that.

I’ll next be tackling Ao no Exorcist, which I sure hope is Japanese Ghostbusters.